Brain Fart

I took today off as I am sore as hell. My calves cramped, right ribs hurt and my back behind my left shoulder blade is still causing my grief. My feet survived walking 6 miles while wet and my stomach will eventually calm down from begging for calories all day yesterday.

So I’m sitting here playing some cards and figured I would spoil myself today with an hour of music. So I’m on my phone making a playlist and fumbling around with my external blu-tooth speaker. Since I was already in my file manager, I checked if there was any media files I could move to my sd card. I had a six or seven new audio recordings. I don’t remember recording them all, especially the one over 30 minutes. You read that right.

I thought, you don’t have to tease me like that to have my check a file. #forcedtobreakthelaw

It was a recording I made of my last appointment with my mental health provider. I had totally forgot about this so I listened to the whole thing. I remember starting the recording to record what I was saying for later evaluation. I have been saying the same shiz for over 2 years and haven’t got the help I need yet. I wanted to record the words that others hear to see if it matched what I was wanting to say.

I don’t know how else so many doctors could be clueless to my situation. Well, the results are in… The words that came out of my mouth were a match to what I was trying to say. This is good, because I have ruled out my speech.

I guess it could be that I missed out on 38 years of mental health care and exposure to terms and definitions of that profession. Sheesh I don’t think I know the difference between psychiatry and psychology. I have not much experience with hospitals either. This would also fit as an explanation for why I was misdiagnosed. I used words that have different meanings in their profession than the definition I am thinking of.

I could show that to the damn judge. It was pretty hard to listen to… And the good news is I have a piece of cardboard that lots of people see.

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